i'm m🎄 | @murderlouis

So let me tell you here the funniest story I've ever read so far okay so: There was a woman who had 3 jars of beans for lunch. She was very happy, because beans are delicious. Though her stomach started ...
My friend once farted in a plastic bag and tried to sell it to my grandma and to the people outside, again
I mean I read boba but boba means dumb in spanish so like I'm confusion (this is confusion, am I confusing you I CAN'T TELL YOU THE-)
Imagine kissing someone and like them losing a teeth inside your mouth :/ or you losing a teeth inside their mouth, why? Just because, now I wanna hear someone telling me that happened to them I wanna know the full ...
You know the saying "music joins people" (which I think I just made up because it's not actually a saying but sTILL) well yesterday I met two guys waiting to see the same artist I wanted to see and like ...
It's so freaking difficult to meet someone famous today me and a friend tracked damon albarn all day but we couldn't find him and then my mum ruined it for us
(ig deleted my last post) okay I've seen the drama but this is a drama free acc so like I'mma be around here stalking meme pages
Did james give birth to a boy or a girl?? I wanted to see harry give birth to a child

First pic creds to: @harryrelate
My grandma enjoys dancing to slow hands
Which show/movie would you watch everyday for the rest of your life?
But like imagine being at a supermarket and seeing a man in a floral gucci suit come through the door
I don't know what hurts me the most, harry's jokes or niall's fails
Today when I woke up and it took me like 1 hour to realize one of my toes was missing a nail,,, WHERE DID YOU EVEN GO COME BACK HOW WAS THAT POSSIBLE
So in memorial of me having diarrhea lets remember that one time I had diarrhea and needed to go to the bathroom urgently so I went to this one store's bathroom but there was no paper in the women's so ...
So like louis stanning liam gallagher as much as I do makes me so happy like wow legends stanning legends but like he went to liam's gig yesterday and liam isn't even coming to my country @louist91 you should've invited ...
I once ate paper and had the biggest diarrhea of my life. Message: kids, don't eat paper
GUESS WHO JUST FINISHED SCHOOL @ harry lend me some money I'm throeing a party
I mean all this new bands trying to be the new 1d are making one huge ass mistake and it's that every member of those bands are like 18 year olds with sharp jawlines and perfect skin and eyes and ...
Someone lost $10 in my school bag woop woop
So like if none of the boys ever sings They Don't Know About Us live I'm unstanning, blocking, reporting and changing this acc into a 1d hate account because that song is so underrated
Imagine harry calling you pretty like what else do you want in life
Me today: wow on holiday I'm gonna learn a new language, practice the piano, learn how to ride a bike, go jogging outside,,
Me, the first day of holiday: wow on holiday I'm gonna learn a new language, practice the ...
Wow I just got into the shower with socks on have you ever seen anything worse
So like if I die you already know it's because I have my Literature test on Wednesday and I have to learn 4 poems by hard PLUS study them analysis which are like 20 pages no joke
Throwback to that one time I accidentally slammed my head into the wall and I almost cried because I thought I would lose two teeth
Instagram will get deleted like vine and we will never get a harry selfie can you believe
So you're trying to tell me that 15,000 people actually like this account?? I would've never thought a shitty acc that used to be called @/1d_pics_yeah (yeah don't even remind me about that name) would have made it this far!!! ...
You know when you're in the middle of a test minding your own business but like your sight gets stuck on a straight point and the teacher looks at you thinking you're cheating and you just feel uncomfortable until it ...
People who agree that pizza & french fries are the best food ever are the people I need in my life
If shrek suddenly came to life I'd marry him like what an icon

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